Your 4-Step Hangover Remedy
Subsequent time you end up knocked out with an expectation hangover, do this 4-step remedy:
Step 1: Transfer into acceptance
Attempt to cease combating in opposition to the reality of what’s occurred; spending your time wishing it was totally different. This doesn’t suggest it’s important to like or agree along with your circumstances, it simply implies that you acknowledge that it has occurred. An absence of acceptance could cause us struggling, on prime of an already painful expertise.
Acceptance is difficult, we get it. This meditation may also help.
💙 For extra on acceptance hearken to the Each day Jay: What’s Acceptance
Step 2: Journey the wave of disappointment (with compassion and gratitude)
Acceptance usually provides solution to some tough emotions. Most of us need to skip over this half however it’s extra useful to keep it up. Study to stroll (and really feel) your approach by way of the feelings to be able to get to the opposite aspect. It may be useful to remind your self that disappointment is sort of a wave. Maintain your self with light self-compassion as you trip the waves till they cross. They usually all the time cross (even when they bubble up once more later…).
Ideas for feeling your emotions:
Step 3: Diagnose the supply
After permitting your self to maneuver by way of your emotions, spend a while making an attempt to know why your expectations fell flat. Ask your self:
Have been they tied up with another person?
Have been they related to a normal that you just set?
Have been your targets real looking? It’s okay in the event that they weren’t!
As people, we’re usually not nice at predicting what’s going to make us blissful. Which means our expectations might lead us to pursue a aim we assume will convey pleasure or contentment, when in actuality, it doesn’t. That is regular.
Irrespective of the trigger, finding the supply of your failed expectations may also help you establish if the “let down” was unavoidable, or in case you would possibly be capable to set your self up higher subsequent time.
Step 4: Handle future expectations
Unrealistic expectations are unhelpful expectations, and we’re all vulnerable to having them at occasions. Clear and correct expectations, alternatively, are helpful for making good decisions and assist us study from our experiences.
As you progress into your subsequent chapter, be variety to your self, but in addition be real looking. Keep related to your self (and actuality) with the next questions:
“Does ______ assist me be who I need to be?”
“Does it assist me go the place I need to go?”
“Is it aligned with what I care about?”
If the reply to any of those questions is not “sure”, it’s in all probability an indicator that you’ll want to reassess your expectations.