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How I Stopped Worrying About What Others Think of Me

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How I Stopped Worrying About What Others Think of Me

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How I Stopped Worrying About What Others Think of Me

“Stay your life for you not for anybody else. Don’t let the worry of being judged, rejected or disliked cease you from being your self.” ~Sonya Parker

On August 4, 2022, I buzzed off my lengthy, thick, luscious hair.

I marched up Sandy Boulevard in Portland, Oregon, walked into Take Satisfaction Barbershop, and sat within the chair with essentially the most badass barber. She quelled my last-minute fears and boldly took the clippers to my never-shorter-than-shoulder-length hair.

It was instantaneous liberation.

I had lastly labored up the braveness to take action after 4 years of inner debate and fear, which went one thing like: What is going to folks suppose? Will folks suppose I’m a person? Will folks deal with me in a different way? What if I’m truly ugly and my ugliness can be revealed? What if my head is oddly formed? Will I’ve to put on a bunch of make-up?

My worries and ideas have been clearly steeped deep in societal conditioning about magnificence and femininity. We’re advised that lengthy hair is female and delightful. We’re advised that younger ladies aren’t imagined to have quick hair. We’re advised that in case you are a lady with quick hair, make sure you put on make-up and jewellery so that you look female.

However I lastly stopped all of the considering, broke free from these norms, and I simply did it. I stated, “Off with the hair!”

And now I really feel free-er, sexier, and prettier.

I really feel extra like me.

It’s as if I shed layers that have been truly hiding my true essence. My true essence as an adventurous, empathic, sensual being who generally feels tender and tender, and different instances feels daring and badass. My true essence as somebody who’s cautious of guidelines and authority.

It’s additionally as if I shed layers of my ego. As a result of whether or not I wish to admit it or not, my hair was a major piece of my id as a lady. Hair is an professional communicator, with the power to ship so many messages via a single look. Hair communicates gender, sexuality, wealth, age, well being, and components of our character.

Now that I’ve shed my lengthy hair, I believe the one a part of me that’s nonetheless communicated by way of my hair is my character. For one can now not take a look at me and rapidly deduce my gender, sexuality, wealth, age, or well being. (I do have very toned muscular tissues and glowing pores and skin, so folks ought to be capable to make an assumption about my well being, however some folks solely see the quick hair and assume I’ve most cancers).

What’s communicated boldly is that I create and stay by my very own guidelines. And if folks know one factor about me, THAT is strictly what I need them to know. 

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My buzzed hair additionally lends an aura, as folks marvel about all of these different little examine packing containers (gender, wealth, age, and many others.) which can be normally communicated by way of hair.

Whereas I did shed some layers of my ego, my buzzed head additionally makes a fairly sturdy assertion, and in full transparency, I get numerous consideration. This consideration is available in all kinds.

Typically it’s “Excuse me sir…oh! I imply ma’am.”

Typically it’s “You could put on lipstick to look extra female.” (Who stated I needed to look extra female?!)

Different instances it’s “Omg, you’re so lovely” or “I LOVE your hair.”

Typically I get free guac.

I get numerous smiles from passersby on the sidewalk.

I get numerous lingering appears to be like on the publish workplace, the espresso store, and the dance flooring.

And whereas I do like to be referred to as lovely (who doesn’t?!), I don’t connect myself to the reward or the criticism as a result of I’ve determined for myself that I’m sturdy, radiant, and delightful, from the within out. I now not care if folks suppose I look masculine or female, ugly, or lovely. I don’t care if folks in Idaho suppose I’ve most cancers. I don’t care if folks suppose I appear to be a thin boy with out make-up on. (What’s fallacious with wanting like a thin boy?!)

This stage of not caring, of being so assured in who I’m, is the last word freedom. 

Plus, I do know that when folks react in some way, it isn’t actually about me and my hair. Their response implies that I activated one thing inside them. I activated their need to be free and to cease following the principles that another person laid out for them.

In the most effective circumstances, I provide others a bit of permission slip to step into their very own boldness. Which is one among my favourite components of buzzed life—when ladies inform me I’ve impressed them to buzz their lengthy hair! That they have been so apprehensive about what folks would suppose, however after seeing me do it, they now have the braveness too. That’s highly effective.

So whereas the coiffure of 1 lady could look like a easy and insignificant factor, it truly performs a small however vital position within the liberation and empowerment of ladies.

For when a lady has the braveness to push again towards magnificence requirements, that braveness is ignited, and he or she additionally develops the braveness to decide on freedom in different sides of her life as properly. 

For me, that has regarded like extra sexual freedom—making me extra playful in mattress and bolder in sharing my needs—and extra confidence in all areas of my life.

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Buzzing my hair has additionally created extra time in my life, as I spend much less time preparing. It’s created extra psychological house, as I now not spend inordinate quantities of time fascinated about how you can model my hair, when to clean it, and whether or not or to not get it highlighted.

It has additionally freed up more cash as a result of I now not spend tons of of {dollars} on highlights and cuts. My fiancé buzzes my hair at dwelling and, often, I bleach it myself.

It’s additionally led to freedom in how I costume. Typically I like to decorate to specific my femininity. Different instances, I costume to specific my masculinity. As somebody who was deeply insecure about her tomboy-ish-ness and lack of need to put on make-up, I’ve reclaimed the masculine components of me with delight, which has been an integral a part of my therapeutic and enlargement journey.

It has additionally deepened my sensuality. Within the bathe, the water massages my head extra intimately. On a summer season day, the solar kisses me deeply. On a breezy morning, the wind and I dance a sleek dance. On the dance flooring, the softness of my fiancé’s lips prompts my crown chakra. I really feel much less separation between the world and me. I’m extra built-in. I’m extra conscious of my oneness with the pure world.

Sure, all of this due to my buzzed hair!

So I’ll go away you with a couple of parting phrases of knowledge:

1. Persons are going to speak and have an opinion about you it doesn’t matter what, so that you may as properly do what you need and be who you need.

2. Others’ opinions of you actually have extra to do with them than they do with you, so don’t take stuff too personally and concern your self at the beginning along with your opinion of your self.

3. If you wish to buzz your head, do it. In case you don’t prefer it, it’ll develop again. However I wager you’ll prefer it!

So right here’s to taking motion to stay as a extra free, wild, and assured you!



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